Your Family As You Separate
You will both want to maintain your close relationship with your children. How will this happen when you live apart?
This is often the biggest concern for parents who are separating or divorcing and it can feel impossible to deal with in the early stages of separation. There is so much to adjust to, and if you are overwhelmed with difficult feelings of loss, hurt, sadness and anger it can feel impossible to discuss arrangements around your children with the other person. (Child Arrangements Mediation)
We are experienced Family Mediation Council accredited mediators who can help you create the future for your children that they deserve.
How do we talk about arrangements for the children?
These conversations are not easy. It may feel safer in the early stages to ask solicitors to write letters for you, to have someone to fight your corner when you feel battle weary.
But does it really need to be a fight? How will that work for you both in the long term? You will always be your children’s parents.
Most parents accept that their children benefit from having the love and support of both parents in their lives, no matter how flawed you may consider your ex to be.
Mediation can help you talk about the important issues.
You will be able to discuss what your children need from both of you, and how you will each meet those needs. You will have a child-focussed discussion and start to look at the practical day to day issues for example:
Where does everyone live?
What are the daily routines for school and for work?
How have you managed that in one household?
How might this change in the future?
In mediation parents can plan how they want to deal with special occasions, birthdays, religious holidays, time with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
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How do we tell them we are separating?
We will help you to consider how that conversation can and should ideally take place.
Can you and your former partner sit down together and talk to your children about what’s going to happen?
Can you agree on what you will say?
Do you have answers to any questions your children may ask?
How will you create safety for your children?
How will you let them know that none of this is their fault and that they will remain loved and cared for by both of you?
In mediation, you can discuss what you will tell your children and how you will tell them. You can talk through whether this information should be given by one or other of you, or whether it is better for the children to hear this from both of you.
There are no sections in the court forms for this type of discussion and, without a very clear understanding of how you will tell the children, these conversations can be very painful for all of you.
We can help you with this.
Why use our family mediation service?
Whilst mediation is not easy, if you are willing to focus on the needs of your children, you are more likely to find a way forward that works best for them. You know them better than a Judge, and with our help you can start to build the firm foundations of you working together as parents, as you separate and divorce.
We are experienced, accredited lawyer mediators who can help you to create the future for your children that they deserve.
